About me

Assalamu alaikum. I’m Ayoub, a regular guy from Tampa, Florida, who’s passionate about Islam.

I’m not a scholar, and I haven’t studied Islam formally. I’m continuing to learn, educate myself, and put what I learn into practice. I may study formally in the future, but I want you to know where I’m coming from when you see me reading the Quran or talking about Islam online.

This is my story of finding my way back to Islam.

Growing up with questions

I was born in the United States and raised in an Arab American household. I knew our religion was Islam, but I wasn’t taught how to pray or read the Quran. I didn’t really have an Islamic education.

Ramadan was the main part of the religion I participated in. We fasted and ate together in the evenings, but I didn’t understand much about why we were doing it. I wasn’t praying during that time.

In middle school and high school, I started questioning whether God even existed. If there was a God, why did He allow suffering? Why did certain things happen? At one point, I thought Islam was completely false and man-made.

Looking back, I recognize some arrogance in myself. I thought things should work the way I wanted them to. I also had questions I didn’t know how to answer.

During those years, I went through a period when I had suicidal thoughts. Even with the doubts I had, I found myself returning to the Quran we had at home. I looked up whether taking my own life was allowed, and I kept coming back to Surah An-Nisa, 4:29, which tells believers not to kill themselves and reminds them of Allah’s mercy.

That verse helped me hold on. Looking back, I believe Allah was guiding me through that situation, even when my faith was weak.

Believing there was a Creator

As I got older, I became interested in psychology and cause and effect. I started thinking about why things happen, how one thing leads to another, and how far back that chain goes.

To me, it pointed to a Creator. The more I thought about the details of the world, down to its smallest structures, the less I could accept that it was all coincidence. I saw a perfection in it that convinced me there had to be God.

Through reflection and personal experiences, I became certain there was one God, one Creator.

But I still wasn’t really practicing a religion. I was pursuing my own goals and trying to do what I thought was good. I wanted to be pleased with my Creator and for my Creator to be pleased with me. I was beginning to think seriously about my actions and what they meant.

Someone who made it easy to ask

Later, I went through a painful experience that left me depressed and regretful.

My best friend’s mother was someone I could turn to. She’s Muslim, and she’s one of the kindest Muslim people I’ve ever met. She never made me feel bad for not knowing something. She didn’t scold me or push herself into my life. When I asked, she offered comfort and advice.

She began telling me stories of the prophets and sharing things from the Quran and hadith. As I listened, some of the lessons felt familiar. I recognized things I had started learning through my own experiences.

That made me want to understand more.

Ramadan was approaching, and she encouraged me to read the Quran. That Ramadan, I read a thirtieth of the Quran in English each day and finished the whole thing.

I was around nineteen or twenty when I found my way back to Islam. Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah. As I read, I came to believe it was the truth.

I don’t remember one particular passage that changed everything. It was the way the lessons connected. They felt familiar, and I began to recognize the guidance I wanted to live by.

Taking the questions seriously

That doesn’t mean I never had questions. I wondered whether these events had happened and whether this could have been written by people. Those thoughts were part of my experience.

I want people to read the Quran and examine it for themselves. Ask questions, including questions about the Quran.

In Surah An-Nisa, 4:82, the Quran calls readers to reflect on it and consider that, if it were from someone other than Allah, they would find many inconsistencies. In Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:23, it challenges those in doubt about the revelation to produce a surah like it.

To me, that is an invitation to take the questions seriously. My conviction is that when you sincerely take on that challenge, you’ll find it is the truth.

Learning to live it

Finishing the Quran didn’t mean I immediately knew how to do everything. I learned how to pray through YouTube, and I gradually brought more Islamic practice into my daily life.

I began seeing Islam as the best way to live, act, and think. In my experience, treating people kindly changes how we relate to each other. Becoming more humble has helped me connect with people. Some of the lessons I once struggled to understand started making sense through practice.

I’m still working on patience and trust. Sometimes I struggle with whether my own dua, my prayer asking Allah for help, will be answered. That’s something I’m continuing to work through.

Right now, I’m learning to read Arabic. I can read some Quran very slowly. That’s where I’m at, and I’m continuing.

For me, learning can’t end with reading a book. When I learn something new, I try to check it, understand it, ask someone knowledgeable when I need help, and apply it.

Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:286 reminds me that Allah does not require of a soul more than its capacity. Surah Al-Isra, 17:106 describes the Quran being revealed in stages and recited to people at a deliberate pace. That gradual revelation makes me reflect on my own learning.

I don’t mean putting off what I know I should do. I mean I don’t have to know everything all at once. When I learn something, I try to practice it and make it a habit. Then I keep learning.

Why I’m sharing

I make videos and read the Quran and other Islamic books live because I want to share what I’m learning and give people room to ask questions. I’ve written more about that in Why I started Islam with Ayoub.

Whether you’re new to Islam, curious about it, or finding your own way back, I want you to know who you’re listening to. I’m a regular guy who cares about Islam and is still learning.

You don’t have to know everything before you begin. I certainly didn’t. When I learn something new, I try to verify it, understand it, and put it into practice. That’s what I’m continuing to do.

Ayoub